Words for the lovelorn & dating weary

As I’ve learned (and shared), dating is not for the faint of heart, friends. It can be exhilarating and crushing – sometimes in rapid succession.

I guess, we all make our choices as to how to proceed when we seek to add a special person to our lives. Maybe you’ve become frustrated or discouraged by what your own efforts have yielded. Well, this post is for you…

Remember that it isn’t that there’s anything wrong with you, you just might not be right for them. Read that again.

Get yourself outside. It’s impossible to remain impervious to life’s cycles when you’re outdoors and we can all benefit from the reminder that seasons change.

Be aware that there are those who devote their time to considering what all the negative possibilities of their actions might be, while others spend their time thinking about how their life will be negatively impacted by their own lack of action. Know which one you are. As for me, I’m most definitely the latter.

Do not let fear of being hurt prevent you from reaching for joy. It’s worth it.

Temporary escape is an acceptable option – get engrossed by a book, television series, film or activity, but don’t develop the habit of checking out via alcohol or other substances. You’ll just feel worse.

Know that the sadness you’re feeling right now will fade, maybe not as quickly as you would like, but it will get better. Promise.

Your heart is a muscle. Exercise it or risk atrophy.

Speaking of risk – as a woman who has spent a lifetime creating a stable, secure existence I understand the fear of stepping beyond your comfort zone. However, there is a difference between taking a chance and being reckless. As Louise Erdrich said so beautifully: “You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on Earth. You are here to risk your heart.”

May as well make peace with it.

Be cognizant of what you want and need, and maybe even should demand, in a relationship. Communicate that clearly. For me, this wisdom courtesy of Roy Kent (of the fantastic Apple TV series, Ted Lasso) helps me to remain focused on the standard I’m personally seeking: “You deserve someone who makes you feel like you’ve been struck by fucking lightning – don’t you dare settle for fine.”

None of us should.

Please feel free to share your own lessons and wisdom with a comment.

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