Out of bandwidth

In the next six weeks, I’ve got a lot moving parts to facilitate. Note that I did not use the word “manage.” This was a very intentional language choice. While I will internalize and stress about all of the balls up in the air, I refuse to pretend I have the ability to exert any control over what actually happens with said balls because they are literally out of my hands.

Speaking of balls, each of the individual situations, all related precariously to one another (of course), involves a male. Funny, huh? I’m not blaming them (at all!), it’s just a set of circumstances the universe handed out that I’m trying to figure out.

It all began last autumn when my middle son approached me with his plan to attend his parents’ alma mater as of Fall, 2024. After working for the NYS legislature for 6 years, he’d be resigning from his position to focus on obtaining his college degree. He would become a full time student for the first time since he graduated high school, in the hopes of eventually having a position with which he might actually earn a reasonable living. Specifically in wages, rather than comp time. What’s the point of comp time when one can’t afford to do much of anything?

This change in his circumstances would mean that he needed to move home to save money. Or, perhaps, not exactly home but, instead into the 2 bedroom flat on the first floor of my house…where I’ve had the same tenant for 15 years, a tenant who has become a friend after a decade and a half of sharing a roof.

Ugh.

Tenant and I had a talk – or rather, the talk, and he was very understanding of the situation, assuring me that he had always imagined that one, or more of my sons, would eventually reside in the flat which he has called home for the majority of my youngest son’s life. My tenant would be looking for a house of his own, something which despite my conflicted feelings of home ownership, delights me.

[An aside – Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to work? You know, renters pay an affordable rent which allows them to save to eventually purchase their own property. I seriously don’t know how people can pay $1200 or $1500 a month for rent, as well as student loans, health insurance, the expenses of a vehicle and still save any money….it just seems really hard to me.]

So, we’ve got some moving out, followed by some moving in, to navigate this summer. All of this was known months ago. Why the stress? Well, my tenant’s closing date on his property is mid-July on the exact day that N and I land in Bari. I mean, that’s fine, I suppose. I don’t need to be here for that, but it also means that I won’t be home to help get the downstairs apartment ready for my son’s move in. I’m sure there’s some cleaning and painting that I’ll want to get done and I really hate not being around for that.

Of course, since my son needs to vacate his apartment by July 1st, we’ll have a short term roomie in our home, which is absolutely fine. He’s a good cook and pretty easy to live with, as I recall from his last lap through his childhood home. He comes with a cat, Enzo, which will potentially disturb Rocco, but it’s just for a few weeks. We’ll deal with it.

That all sounds fairly straightforward, right? But, wait! There’s more…

The downstairs bathroom is on the household expense docket as the next project, one I planned to have started by the beginning of July. This will be a gutting from the floors on up and I’ve been collecting bits from FB Marketplace, like tile and frameless glass shower doors, as an attempt to minimize the cost. I would have preferred to have been at home for at least some of the job, but I’m not overly concerned with being away during much of that project.

Regrettably, the work may be disruptive to my tenant during his final weeks of residency, but I am feeling pressured to get the project rolling. The contractor has me scheduled for mid-July and I don’t want to lose him to another job. Having the work done while I was away was actually part of the original plan, since my son can be upstairs where he has a bathroom of his own to use, but I thought the downstairs would have been vacant by July. Since it’s not, there will likely be some unavoidable disruptions. Ugh.

As the pieces of the above puzzle fell into close enough position, another xy in my life added yet another facet to this gem of a situation. My youngest son, who has been living full time with his dad, will be moving back into his room at our place – once his brother has shifted from upstairs to downstairs, that is. The hope is that by mid-August this will all have come to pass and things will be settled into their new normal. Fingers crossed.

If you can even imagine, there are a few more males who are going to be directly impacted by these somewhat complicated maneuverings, specifically N, Jeter and Rocco. These fellas are going to have their patience tried as their comfortable home becomes a bit more chaotic than any of us would like. In the big picture, though, this summer should only be a blip on the radar. It’s all going to be fine, right?