A brief situation to (over)share

In the last few years, I’ve embraced jumpsuits, rompers and one-piece coveralls in a similar fashion (ha!) to my baby bearing days when I practically lived in overalls. Going to the bathroom might require a couple of minutes lead time, but there’s no faster outfit to don than a single article such as this uber comfortable corduroy boilersuit that I bought a few seasons ago.

Cute, right?

Anyway, I wore this particular jumpsuit, layered over a white long sleeved t-shirt, yesterday. Feeling reasonably put together and comfy, I was ready for my day. All was well until I took a bathroom break…

I mindlessly lowered the zipper and shrugged my shoulders to drop the jumpsuit, taking care to keep the garment off the floor. As I glanced down, I realized that somehow my underwear had become snagged on the metal teeth of my jumpsuit. Neglecting to take the time to assess the state of affairs properly, I pulled the zipper down. Or was it up? Honestly, I don’t remember in which direction I tugged initially, but I do recall the moment when I realized I had put myself into a situation.

The waistband of what some might call granny panties, my generously sized underwear had become ensnared in my zipper and I now had myself a real problem. As I fidgeted with the zipper unable to get it higher or lower, I began to genuinely worry.

If you’ve ever been locked in a restroom or individual bathroom stall, the sense of panic I experienced might be a familiar, to you, response. You know, that heart quickening anxiety that blooms in your chest as you wonder what it’ll be like to crawl under the stall on a floor that is questionably clean or if you’ll be able to climb out that way too small window to get outside. 

Yeah, that feeling. 

Factor in that I work in a school with close to a thousand students, and more than a hundred adults, and I was now in a position in which I was unable to zip my clothing shut, yet had to traverse a hallway to get to the safety and relative privacy of my office. Well, let’s just say my low blood pressure was no longer an issue.

I dashed through the hallway, holding my jumpsuit together with one hand, and made a break for the library office, pausing to grab a pair of scissors and to advise my colleague of the circumstances in which I found myself. For about 10 minutes, I yanked and pulled and attempted to slide that damn zipper in either direction. I trimmed and tugged the fabric, grabbing threads in my quest to free my panties which were now quite literally in a bunch.

Finally, I gave up and acknowledged that I needed to go home and change my clothes. So, I did, with sincere appreciation that I live near work and that I had opted to wear that white shirt under my jumper.

Things truly could have been even worse

Moral of the story: just because a jumpsuit may offer a quick outfit, doesn’t mean it’s always going to be zippy. 🤭

PS. After school, using tweezers, I was able to remove the fabric remnants and get the zipper working fine again. The underwear, unfortunately, were a total loss.