Yesterday was my youngest son’s 21st birthday, a milestone that came with no small sense of satisfaction. Parenting this kid, the family baby, had not been without its challenges.
There had been numerous early miscarriages, (something I’ll forever attribute to the aggressively high radioactive iodine dose I received and my managed state of hyperthyroidism), before my body managed to hold on to this single precious conception.
Our family’s finances were a bit unstable with both parents in transitional stages of their careers. Our older sons, each with their different needs, were in elementary school and needed attention and schlepping and managing. It was an intense time in parenting, a time that was physically very demanding, as I recall it.
A lot of it is a blur.
Perhaps that’s why it’s the time in my life I would revisit, were that an option.
Working and raising a family and taking care of a home, wasn’t easy, but it came with an exhausted sense of satisfaction. Parenting was, in my experience, honest hard work. Most of the time, I believe I did the best job I could at the time.
As our family morphed into ever evolving different states of being through the years, this third son grew up. He was part of the Covid cohort, an unfortunate collection of young people who suffered through the isolation of the pandemic coupled with the unrelenting presence of social media.
He struggled and he and I butted heads, infrequently but with an intense ferocity. I learned that he hated when I iced him, and I tried to not use that to my advantage. When we argue, I try to prevent our disagreements from becoming too heated and work to keep my voice calm and low.
We both despise being yelled at.
After a quarrel, I think I just about always reach out eventually to him to break the ice, btw. He’s always receptive to my overtures and never hangs up without telling me that he loves me.
Every. Single. Time.
He and I have done so many fun things together over the years. Train trips, here and abroad, visits to historic places and trips with family checking out where our ancestors originated. The road trip we took in 2021 from Seattle to San Francisco remains one of my favorite domestic trips ever.
There are so many vivid and beautiful moments from that trip…it was truly incredible.
In a couple of months, we’re going to Ireland and I’m excited to travel with him again. After Thanksgiving in Montreal, which had been a blast, I can’t wait to see him socialize with distant cousins and be introduced to some of the McMenamin and McGlynn family lore. I also love sharing foreign cities I know with my kids. Literal streetcred.
Raising children is not for the weak and I feel very fortunate to have three sons who live independently and are working hard in their pursuits. I frequently remind my lads that they are undoubtly #thefabulouslillyboys, but that doesn’t mean they’re so very special that they’ll never experience tragedy or harshness. We are vulnerable to life’s perils just like everyone else.
I hope know they absorbed the lessons of responsibility, personal ethics and adventure because I see the evidence every day in their actions. They make me proud.
Yesterday, when my youngest son turned 21, I felt myself releasing my breath a little bit more. Having the responsibility of raising another human being, (or three), is a heavy weight to carry. Getting three of them over the line to adulthood is an achievement that I’ll never take lightly.
Hbd +1 day, qpl.
DelSo 