Home. Again.

Jeter had his first walk yesterday afternoon following our return from Wellfleet. Upon stepping outside he looked absolutely crushed to discover that he was no longer pond side. Same, buddy. Same.

Decades after my first annual trip to Cape Cod, I still drive home feeling incredibly melancholy. A funk settles on me, different from the one Jeter is currently sporting from 7 days of nonstop swimming in “our” pond, that is predictable, yet difficult to shake. I just feel sad.

Waking up this morning after 8 hours of sleep with only one interruption, I immediately missed the view I had enjoyed for the past 7 mornings. Not seeing the trees and the mist lingering over the surface of the calm water informed me that vacation was indeed over. Damn.

In an attempt to get back my groove and lift my spirits, I took my coffee and Sunday papers out to the deck, a place where I’ve been really happy to spend my time for the past 4 or 5 months. But, it felt different. While the plants (mostly) continued to thrive, the basil and mint were looking a little tired and it seemed as if the sun has shifted in the sky making the deck shadier than I remember it being just a week or so ago.

As a veteran of end of the summer blues, I know what will help me settle back into my regular life – practical things like doing laundry and grocery shopping, bathing my dog and cleaning the bathroom afterwards, a gentle yoga class. I’ll upload the 300+ photos I took last week and relive some favorite moments from one of my favorite places on earth. There will also be quiet time to reflect on Summer 2020 and look forward to a new school year that will be unlike any of the 25 years which have preceded it. 

And I’ll hope that next summer I’m fortunate enough to once again feel this sweet sadness.


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