Death of a crusader

I learned this week of the loss of a friend from high school. Before I go further, you should know a couple of things – first I hesitated to write “friend,” because it’s a word that suggests a connection and intimacy that I wasn’t certain I should claim there had been between Gary and myself. However, after a moment’s reflection, I concluded that, yes, we were friends despite not having spent much time together in person.

Gary was a friend to everyone.

High school was not a great experience for me. I’d say my biggest takeaways involved a new understanding that students with involved parents were expected to achieve more, teachers could be bullies and that if you waited for the parking lot monitor to go out the door at the other end of the building, your chances of making a clean break for the woods near the smoking lounge were almost guaranteed.

While I bounced between the Lakers, (my hometown friends), some Monroe faces and a few new people I found interesting, Gary was an integral part of the A-V squad. Our paths didn’t cross with any frequency, but I always found him to be pleasant and friendly. We simply didn’t have much in common.

Through the wonders of Facebook and my own curiosity driven attendance at class reunions, I grew to know Gary over the many years since high school. I learned that he had a song for every occasion and would happily share it with a post. I found that our politics, despite his residing in the swamp of ignorance that is the state of Florida, are very much aligned. His positions on gun culture and human rights are the same as my own and we communicated with one another about our frustrations and sorrows time and time again prompted by yet another mass shooting or transgression.

After he asked me if he might use one of my photos for the cover of the weekly bulletin for his church, I learned that Gary was deeply involved with his Unitarian congregation. His beliefs were unwavering and he devoted his time and talents to supporting his fellow parishioners. He often commented on my writing and was consistently astute in his observations. His support of my artistic endeavors, as they are, always made me feel like he was one of my biggest cheerleaders.

I imagine that those of you who knew him could probably say that exact same thing.

I’ve been shaking my head since I learned that Gary died. How can it be? He was such a steady and quiet voice of reason and compassion, generous and kind…he was exactly what this world filled with greed and conflict needed most. I am so very sad to know that he is gone.

I’ll miss the things Gary sent my way when something made him think of me – memes, songs, links. Even though I didn’t always click through, I always appreciated that he sent them my way – that he shared that he was reminded of me. He was a generous person who gave so much of himself freely, expecting nothing in return. Definition 2 below sums him up quite beautifully.

Gary was quite simply a good guy who will be missed and I send my deepest condolences to all who loved him.

Let’s do our best to carry on the crusade. Do it for Gary.