The Stinky Cheeseman

I can’t remember why I started referring to the man I had been dating at the time as a type of cheese, (manchego, specifically), but I have no interest in scrolling back 4 years to be reminded. He is a person that I don’t really think of often and I see no point in revisiting a relationship that was kind of ridiculous from the very start.

We met online and sent some messages back and forth before migrating to texting. During an exchange that was flirty, I messaged to tell him that I suspected that he was a player.

Well, he was so insulted and hurt and offended that I should accuse him of being a ladies’ man, he immediately telephoned me to deny that he was what I suspected and that was our first conversation.

We dated for about 6 weeks before I ended the relationship, via dm, while I was on vacation with my son. My action was prompted by his sending me a series of photos of “his friend, the chef” who had recently returned from Greece. In two of the images, she was a wearing a bathing suit, something I found weird.

Weird for him to share with me, weird. Who does that?

She was attractive, but I didn’t perceive her as a threat. In fact, she was welcome to him. I had failed my audition with the filmmaker. I wasn’t intellectual enough for him. I didn’t devote time to deep topics.

Whatever. It ended.

Or did it?

In spring (2025) a friend (A) shared with me that a long time friend of hers (L) had recently been in a relationship with Manchego. He had treated L poorly and there were some similarities in our individual experiences while dating him.

With her, too, he had been an utter love bomber, seemingly devoted, appreciative and available.

In fact, he was none of those things. He was unreliable, untruthful and unemployed, looking for everything except work.

Eeew.

Anyway, it turned out that Manchego was, at a minimum, two-timing L. In no time flat, Monsieur Fromage had already replaced L and was social media official with S.

As the three of us (A, L and moi) compared notes, we came to realize that Manchego had probably been dating S the entire time he had been seeing L. There was the possibility that there may have been a break in the coupling of Manchego (M) and S, but the inarguable truth is that M and S dated before and after M and L were together.

We thought, girl code, that S should be told about the situation and we provided her with some history on the guy she confessed that she knew “something was off” about. She thanked us. We vowed to meet for a celebratory drink in Woodstock one day.

So, now I’m done right? My friend, A, did some terrific writing* about the local guy who had a thing for being full of merde. I was finished.

Until S blocked all three of us and resumed her cheesy relationship with M.

We felt sorry for her. We’ve all been blind to the flaws of people who excite or interest us, even when presented with substantial and varied evidence.

Look at all of those f’n Trumpers for proof.

I moved on. Again.

Early in July, my friend whom I had just left on the Cape, texted that Manchego had liked her profile on a platform. She was irate and sent him an annoyed message advising him that she knew exactly who he was and most certainly did not return his like. And then he blocked her.

A week later this very same situation occurred, but this time it was a friend of A’s who had garnered a like from Manchego. She also recognized the player of Woodstock and shut that shit down vite.

It’s insane.

But, surely now it is done.

Except, it seems that Manchego and S are no longer together. In fact, M has already introduced the new gem in his life on social media, referring to his current squeeze as a diamond. Mon dieu! Are you kidding me?

I mean, talk about how to turn what was a 6 week relationship into a frigging epic!

And today, just about 4 years after M and I broke up, S has returned to our group text thread with apologies and acknowledgement of how we tried to tell but she needed to learn for herself. She had ended things with M a couple of weeks ago for undisclosed reasons and S was pissed that he continued to contact her while also presenting his new love, E, to his FB friends.

Poor E…

It might be time to reach out to her.

The Stinky Cheeseman needs to be arrêté. The fairytale he’s offering smells even worse than a wedge of Epoisses.

*Read these in the order presented:

• Part 1
• Part 2
• Part 3