The title of this post kind of sums up how I felt after a recent run. I had a stitch in my side that wouldn’t quit and I was forced to slow to a walk more than once over the course of 5 miles. I didn’t feel particularly strong and I wondered if I had finally landed on the other side, the downhill side, of my personal mountain, so to speak. Yuck.
My lack of satisfaction with my run, while genuine, was put into perspective as I started thinking about my satisfaction with where I am in life. How, overall, I feel pleased with my ability to keep moving forward, breathing deeply all the while. Living.
How often do you think that every day spent on this earth is one less day you’ll be here? Even if one believes in Heaven or reincarnation, there’s no mistaking that each day brings one a step closer to their final moments. When it’s all over will you reflect on your days and feel as if you lived or merely existed?
Sometimes when I’m running and struggling with each step of every mile, I consider how far I’ve come and the distance still to run. If I am 3 miles into a 5 miles run and feeling like I still have too far to go, my mind often makes the leap to how those numbers apply to my life expectancy. The thought that my own life is probably 60% over generally gives me the kick in the ass necessary to finish those remaining miles.
I have a fairly sensitive nose, probably a blessing and a curse in equal measure. I passed an older man walking a small dog and caught a whiff of his scent. Some sort of musky fragrance that took me back to my childhood in the 70s. It was what the cool people wore, earthy and androgynous. He probably was one of the cool people at that time, but now he was just another old-ish kind of guy dousing himself with the aroma of yesterday. And keeping the light on for the generation to follow his into retirement. My generation.
I know I want to run every chance I get before walking my dog and smelling like the past are what I have left. I don’t mean to say that either of those are necessarily bad things, but I’m trying my best to experience life – love, laughs, aches and pains included. And when that day comes and I spritz myself with Chanel and grab my dog’s leash, I’ll have plenty of memories to take along for the walk. How about you?
DelSo 
Even when I’m dissatisified with a run I am happy that I at the very least made the run. Perspective is important. Loving your life is also important. I run because it sets my soul free, instantly, and that lends itself to living my best life, right now. No regrets when I’m older. Change is inevitable and necessary, as is peace in our heart. Being happy, healthy, and grateful is how I try to live my life — I’m not always successful — shit happens – but I’m consistent in my attempt and it seems to get easier. Have a wonderful day!
I think we would have a lot to talk about, but you’d bury me in distance. Thank you for your comment – I agree with all you’ve said. Keep looking up and forward, my friend.