After a lifetime spent trying to avoid being banal, i.e. an undereducated restaurant worker after dropping out of high school, cyclical “victim” of poverty, stereotypical librarian, I’m afraid I’ve found myself perpetuating the cliché of “when you stop looking for it, it finds you.” Let me explain. I’ve had a couple of relationships that left … Continue reading Who’s the new guy?
If you know me at all, you’re fully aware that I’m more a word person than a numbers one, a fact which only makes the following statement seemingly even more out of character... ...the clear common denominator in all of my relationships is me. Easier math than 1 + 1 = 2, right? Evidently, I’m … Continue reading Maybe it’s me
I’ve spent far too much time since my divorce nearly a decade ago pondering what it is that I’m seeking in life from a partner. What the “right” relationship will or should look like. How to have realistic expectations without compromising my deepest wishes. Knowing when and how to move on. So many questions and … Continue reading Can(‘t) get (no) satisfaction
Recently it occurred to me that maybe dating isn’t always supposed to evolve into a capital R Relationship. At least not at every single* point in one’s life. For example, I’m in my mid 50s. In about five years I’ll be eligible to retire and my house will belong to me free and clear. It … Continue reading Is “date” just another four letter word?
Online dating is weird. One man I chatted with told me, after I expressed surprise that he had lied about his age (shaving a couple of years off the true number), he expects everyone online to lie about things such as their age or height. I told him I preferred to not lie, having been … Continue reading The truth about online dating
Any sense of guilt for being self indulgent. Blanket statement. Justifying wine with bubbles. Feeling the need to try to explain anything to anyone committed to ignorance. Shame for being made happy by pretty clothes. Insecurity about my body. Trying to understand people who prefer being miserable to being happy. Believing that if I only … Continue reading 20 Things I’m leaving behind…
What do you think of when you read or hear the words “modern love?” The Bowie song? Maybe a contemporary nightmare? The series on Amazon which recently actually filmed locally? Or, perhaps like me, the NYT column in which I dream to one day be published? Confession: it’s a writing fantasy that only comes in … Continue reading Modern Love