My youngest son recently began his last year as a teenager causing me to deeply exhale. I’ve been parenting teenagers for about 14 years now and frankly, I’m exhausted. There have been a lot of challenges and poor decisions made along the way, on both sides, and while I’m not one to wish time away, I am looking forward to having the teen years firmly in the past.
I’ve come to subscribe to the belief that the conflicts which often arise between teens and parents are nature’s way of preparing both of those demographics to separate and move forward individually. I mean no one would ever imagine their cuddly infant or sweet 1st grader leaving home, but when one is faced with a rebellious 17 year-old who does little around the house other than consuming massive quantities of groceries (leaving the evidence of their indulgence in their bedrooms and the kitchen sink), wishing for their departure, sooner rather than later, seems natural.
Until this third son of mine, I didn’t feel comfortable with, or truly capable of, mothering an infant. After the disaster that was my first son’s premature arrival and subsequent serious health issues, parenting my middle son was certainly easier, but I still felt compelled to do things a certain way. There were rules to be followed with regards to sleep habits and foods and general expectations for behaviors.
Son number two broke me of those notions. He had ideas of his own, believe me.
My youngest son was the first baby with whom I felt confident that I was doing things right. Ironically, though, despite my feeling fairly in control of this parenting an infant thing, baby boy number 3 was not my baby alone. He was the family’s baby and between his two parents and two older brothers, he was given a lot of attention – and not all of it was positive.
When Q was a little guy, I often worked Saturday nights. His brothers took it upon themselves to teach him things they found to be of cultural importance – like humor gleaned from SNL and other sources beyond his years. And their’s, for that matter. My baby grew up far more quickly than his older brothers had, something I mourned even as it happened.
He was supposed to be the baby, my baby, and it all went so damn fast.
However, there’s no going back, just forward to a future without teenagers. I’m ready.
DelSo 
Dear Beautiful Woman,
I have had the great pleasure of knowing you for many years. I remember when you and Tom first married and I remember holding your first born in my arms as a small baby at Yono’s . I believe you have done a superb job raising 3 beautiful boys that are, like their mother, strong, intelligent, independent, confident and all around the best kind of citizens this world needs. I tell you this with great respect as you met every challenge with great success. Bravo to you and your boys, it’s now up to them to help heal this world as the torch is being passed to the young.
jamie
Jamie – Thank you so much for your generous and kind words. They are beautiful and appreciated. Thank you, old friend.