Thoughts of thankfulness

I recently wrote that holidays just don’t mean very much to me anymore. When speaking with friends about this truth, I shared that Thanksgiving had previously been my favorite of all holidays. No crushing consumerism and the lack of pressure to produce the perfect gift, made for an easy day of cooking and eating, something I grew to realize I enjoyed and was good at. Particularly the latter.

My fondness for this particular day is tangled up in an array of emotions, events and memories from the span of my life. While I don’t believe I’m prone to over romanticizing the past, being content with the present most days, I’m starting to notice that the only wishes I’d like to be granted involve going back in time. I’d love to spend a day ignoring every single demand upon my attention and instead simply play with my young sons, without distraction. That time is such a blur for me.

It went by so fast.

If I could return to a Thanksgiving from the past, however, it would be one from my own childhood. The comfort of waking up in the morning to the aroma of the turkey already roasting, watching the Macy’s parade and helping to select from the rainbow colors of the linen napkins which I would iron and then carefully fold into bishop’s hats for our dining table.

Decades have passed since then but those mornings were good ones and will always define this day of food, family and friends for me. I hope my own children have a store of their own memories which will equally preserve and embody this holiday for them.

One of my oldest friends messaged me recently with this –

“…so heartwarming to see you with cousins, family that you would have never met if it wasn’t for your strength to look for them.”

It should come as no surprise that what I am most appreciative of are the people in my life. From the sons I birthed and the brother who has always been there, to the distant relatives I worked to find, my family, both near and far, means the world to me. Having all three of my children living independently, yet within shouting distance, is one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever received. 2024 has been a spectacular year with time shared with both sides of my extended family in three different countries on two continents.

How lucky am I?

Aside from those with whom I share genetic material, there is the ever so important chosen family with which I’ve been gifted. From N, who is always willing to be my companion and beloved wherever we happen to be, to the friends who have been part of my life for too many years to count, I have curated a group of people who support and celebrate me in ways that I can never take for granted. Sharing this world, and its adventures, with friends I love make my existence infinitely richer and more meaningful.

I’d be remiss if I failed to acknowledge the four legged creatures with whom I share a home. Jeter and Rocco provide a steady joy that far outweighs the responsibilities of pet ownership. They are loved.

We’re living in uncertain times with the MAGA threat hanging over all of our heads,* and wars being waged in both Ukraine and Palestine. The world feels like a scary place and it is tempting to shut down and disconnect as a means of self preservation.

I’m working to not do that, a goal easier to achieve when there are kind people all around me. Case in point, this morning’s walk, which was a sodden one as seemingly a month’s worth of rain has fallen in the past few days. Jeter and I rounded the corner to make our way home and a car pulled up next to us, passenger window rolling down as the driver extended an umbrella towards me. “Please take it,” he said.

So I did.

Today, I’ll think about that unknown neighbor, who offered me the gift of shelter. I’ll remember loved ones who are no longer on this earth with whom I shared previous holidays and I’ll glaze the cake that I baked yesterday which will be shared later this afternoon with friends. And I will be thankful.

*unless, of course, you’re a white hetero without connection or care for folks who are BIPOC or LGBTQ+ or immigrants. Honestly, though, I can’t imagine that many of those people stick around here for very long.