Righteous babe

My decision to deactivate Facebook hasn’t been without conflict – both my own and that of others. I’m really going to miss the sense of being part of my friends’ lives and seeing their photos and accomplishments, as well as the birthday reminder prompts which help me acknowledge their special days.
Facebook has also become the keeper of events, which will make staying abreast of what’s going on more difficult. I’m sure you’ve noticed that links from so many commercial websites lead to business Facebook pages, leaving little option when seeking details or more information about happenings.
Note to businesses: Please do not exclusively promote your doings on Facebook. I know I’m not the only one questioning their own relationship to social media and looking to limit dependency upon the platform as a source of social events and special promotions.
I understand that some may find it hypocritical that I’m abandoning FB, but plan to continue keeping my Instagram account active. As a grown ass adult, I don’t need to justify my choices in life, at least not all of them, but I’d like to take a moment to explain how I came to that decision.
While Zuckerberg owns both social media platforms (along with Snapchat for which I’ve never found a purpose), he founded only one of them – Facebook. This has been his baby from the start and it is the one which I find most problematic in my life.
When I was trying to crystallize my thoughts, I came to the conclusion that, to me, FB feels like a perpetual reunion, or maybe even a funeral, while Instagram is more akin to a cocktail party.
The vibe on FB is about connections and shared memories and in many ways, that’s great. But, it’s also about false information being disseminated and arguing and debating about politics and other hot button issues and that part of it is exhausting. Why the f*ck would I want to use my recreational time to fight, often with people who do not occupy a place in my life?
Instagram, though, feels very different. It’s visual with very limited, in my feed at least, debate or argument. Like a cocktail party, I might try a new drink or strike up a conversation with someone unknown, but if I ultimately find either of those things to be not of genuine interest, I just move on. On IG, I follow, and am inspired, by people from around the world. I love seeing where they go, what they eat and how they live. It broadens my perspective in a wonderful, enriching way.
No drama. No defending my position. No fear of alienating someone I may have gone to high school with or might have known from decades ago. Easy.
I was accused of being righteous because of my personal choice to leave one platform, yet continue on another, and my response to that is simple: I’ve never claimed to be the most consistent person in the universe. I would never eat veal, but happily indulge in foie gras. I used to get crazy about the amount of paper (mail, catalogs, magazines, fliers) in my house, yet have boxes full of old love letters, diaries, artwork created by my sons and cards I’ve received over the last four decades. Fresh bananas repulse me, but I love them cooked or baked. Go figure.
It’s just who I am, contradictions and all.
Why would anyone think they have the authority to dictate or define who I am or the choices I make?
So, I’m moving forward with my plan to unplug from Facebook. If you’ve enjoyed keeping up with me through the years, please consider following me on IG where I’m “nylilly” or here or via email. Please share any posts that have landed for you. I’d appreciate that.
As for being a righteous babe, we all know who that really is – Ani DeFranco. Her new (2021) album is a battle cry and this song particularly resonated with me. Check it out.

5 thoughts on “Righteous babe

  1. Sounds like someone from Facebook showing you why you’re leaving Facebook.

    My wife came up with a good way to keep track of birthdays and anniversaries. She made post its for each month with dates and the year. They get stuck to the photo page of the calendar. Then appointment and things get written on the date squares. Next year, the post its move to the new calendar. Works great on a school calendar.

  2. Hi Silvia,
    Like you I have become disenchanted with Facebook. Way to much stupidity and ignorance. What I did do already was to deactivate my account which gives me the option to still use messenger which I enjoy. This allows to to still contact friends and keep in touch without all the nonsense of Facebook. Before I can delete the account I need to find a way to keep the pictures I have accumulated. Hope you are well. This might be a good option for you.

  3. What I have done is certain people is block what they post so I don’t see it, but can touchbase with them if I need to…as I have extended family that I prefer not to see their posts, but if I need to get in touch with them, FB is the best method. Others, I have blocked totally and deleted. I continually block ads, etc….but I totally get wanting to just say the heck with it all and quit FB. Whatever is best for your mental and emotional health is what you need to do.

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