“Lost time is never found again” – Benjamin Franklin

If you could have anything, what would you want?

Since making the decision to retire I’ve had some intense moments of panic. How do I walk away from a career that brought me much professional satisfaction and a strong sense of belonging to a community? Will the absence of students and colleagues from my everyday life leave a void? What will my financial situation look like?

Each of these questions, I suppose, can be answered in the same way – I guess, I’ll figure it out.

Because, more than anything else, I want my time to be my own.

I’ve spent more than a half century of being an employee, of being committed to a schedule which might not necessarily be the one I would most prefer. While I’ve been fortunate to enjoy many summers off through the years, I’ve really had very limited extended time off from work.

When my sons were babies, I returned to work 6 or 8 weeks postpartum. There wasn’t paid maternity leave and we were dependent on the income and the health insurance.

Yes, I’ve traveled a lot, but it’s always been during school breaks when the crowds are biggest and the expenses are greatest. Taking time off to celebrate milestones or distant family events wasn’t easily possible on a public school teacher’s academic calendar. At least not if it involved taking more than 2 consecutive personal days, which must not be attached to holiday weekends or existing breaks in the calendar, natch.

I don’t want that life anymore.

I want to see new things and old favorite places. I’ve signed up with a house sitter’s’ organization and intend to selectively begin building some positive reviews with sits within a couple of hours of Albany. My hope is to build a good reputation on the site and I’ve got my first “sit” on the calendar in Northampton in late July. Eventually, I’ll seek house sitting opportunities in Europe, ideally for 4+ weeks in a single location. Maybe bounce between family or friends and house sits to stretch my finances aka have more € to devote to wine and food.

Another motivating factor in my decision to retire are my kids. I’ve said this before but it bears repeating, I didn’t really like babies until I had my third. (True story.) One of the few things about parenthood that I correctly predicted, though, was that I would find my sons more interesting and engaging as adults, than I did when they were little lads. As long as they’re still living local, I’d like to finally be available to, and for, them in a way I couldn’t be when they were younger.

On their schedules, for a change.

The idea of giving up my career, with its finally excellent salary and benefits, is scary but, I won’t let the fear paralyze me. Isn’t retirement the natural next chapter? Wasn’t this the plan?

Shouldn’t we all have a time in our lives to explore and indulge our interests and passions?

My pension and a side hustle should keep me comfortable and I know how to live well for less. I’ve made do before and can do it again and, of course, money is only a part of what makes life valued. If I find that I need more, I’ll make it.

The only thing that I can’t make more of is time.