Warning: if you’re inclined to respond to conversations about (minor) medical situations the way I react to seeing open wounds, skip this post and go on your way. It’s a topic that is not for everyone.
But first, let me lead with this simple fact – everyone should have at least one person in their life that they can ask to look at their ass – and I’m not talking about “does my ass look big in these pants?,” either. I’m saying, “ can you, please, look at my butt cheek and tell me what that bump is?”
One last preset on the (now resolved) situation – at work Saturday night during a lull in the action, two coworkers were comparing skin injuries they were each experiencing, one a monster zit on her face, the other the bruised bridge of the nose caused by an unfortunate encounter with the bill of her love’s baseball cap. As they moaned of the amount of makeup and effort necessary to disguise their flaws, I interjected: but did you start your Friday face down at your primary care doctor’s office having a boil on your ass lanced?
Mic drop.
I win.
It began early last week. There was a zit or something way up high, right side of my butt. It was in a perfect location – impossible to see clearly, yet tender when I sat back on my chair. By Wednesday at my monthly massage, it had grown to the size of a nickel and didn’t seem to be inclined to go away on its own.
Yet another sidebar: when I worked for the medical practice in NYC, I heard some crazy stories explaining how injuries occurred. One that stands out, even after all these years, was the ridiculous story of how a guy had backed into a doorknob and…well, let’s just say anesthesia and an extraction were both necessary.
I share this memory because it was one of the things scrolling through my head as I worked up the resolve to reach out to my doctor for a visit. Surely, even if her exam room isn’t the ER at St. Vincent’s, as was the case of the doctors I worked for in the West Village, she’s seen things worse than a cyst or zit or boil on an otherwise unblemished tush, right?
On Thursday, I scheduled an appointment for first thing Friday morning. And, that’s when I found myself getting a shot of lidocaine followed by a T shaped incision in what was determined to be a simple boil.
Nice, right?
Four days later, halfway through my week’s course of antibiotics, the boil is healing nicely. I’m still leaning a little left (truthfully in most things) when I sit, but the discomfort has mostly abated. While it isn’t possible to precisely pinpoint the reason why I developed this painful bump, moving forward, I will be more expedient in getting out of my yoga clothes and into the shower following class.
As for why I shared this experience, I started writing the original DelSo blog about 15 years ago. Since then, I’ve posted about my travels, experiences and thoughts with minimal self censorship. I’ve tried to keep it real – the good, the bad and the ugly. After this post, you might say I’ve included just about everything – ifs, ands and butts. 🤭
DelSo 