You with a different schedule.
You with deeper thoughts and more reflection.
You with more time to be with me.
You with equal measures of adoration.
While not exactly in those words, I’ve been on the receiving end of each of those sentiments in relationships during my life. As I consider them, it seems that these words all can be expressed in a single sentence:
You being more available.
It’s really got me thinking…
Is it possible that I don’t have what’s necessary for a fulfilling relationship available? Am I incapable of providing the necessary component(s) to a partner because I simply do not have them at my disposal? Do I not possess the flexibility, intellect, time or emotions needed to forge a lasting bond with someone?
People approach relationships differently. Some have their focus on the end game, while others are more open to seeing where the road might lead. Those who have clear and detailed projections regarding what type of pairing they are seeking seem to expect their desires to be met immediately. They want another’s calendar, thoughts, attention and feelings delivered from the onset of a burgeoning relationship.
I just don’t think that’s my way.
I know that I have a deep internal well – even after sharing its contents, along with myself, with partners through the years. However, I don’t offer up everything I am or all I possess immediately. I’m inclined to be more cautious when it comes to sharing myself in such a profound and committed manner.
Unavailable doesn’t have to mean unobtainable. It just means that what I have to offer – which is a lot, is something I don’t give away quickly.
This feels like one of those times when the reward is worth the wait.
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