Closing the window(s)

We’re at that point in the year where it’s time to admit that summer is indeed over. While it seems to me that cooler nights are arriving later than in previous years (I recall struggling to not put the heat on in Septembers past), there’s no denying that my plants are going to want to come back inside from their summer home on the back deck and that the windows in my house need to be closed.

September has been a pretty weird month – and one that has felt exceedingly long. It’s hard to believe that Labor Day weekend was less than four weeks ago. It just seems like too much has happened to be contained within a single calendar page. There was a weekend in NYC with the girls, a couple of cool dates, home projects, lots of long walks, virtual yoga classes and the beginnings of falling in love again with running. And my birthday, of course.

As I contemplate the true end of summer and warm night air, I’ve come to another conclusion – the end of my online dating life. I’m just feeling done with “putting myself out there’ and trying to be true to myself while indulging people I don’t really know. It’s simply too damn exhausting on too many levels.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some fun and met interesting people, some of whom live very different lives than me. That’s been awesome. You know me. I’m a people person – or as my mother used to say, (not necessarily in a complimentary way), I’m a bit of a social butterfly. Or I was…

Despite those pleasant experiences, I always end up feeling as if I’m auditioning for a part in a production that is perpetually stuck in previews. I don’t enjoy the sensation of selling myself to a prospective partner and believe I’ll find greater satisfaction in devoting my time to pursuits which I know will bring me joy. You know, like hanging with friends and family, traveling, dining out, taking in live music and other arts events. With those sorts of things, I think the odds of my investment paying off are probably greater than spending countless hours and bytes communicating with a person with whom I will never be costarring, so to speak.

For those who are committed to online dating, I say “Bravo.” I truly admire your ability to repeatedly pursue a potential relationship digitally. You must possess a constitution which is more robust than my own, along with a heart that is ironclad and I send you all the positive dating energy I haven’t already depleted.

As for me, I’m oddly excited to close my windows, delete my Bumble app and turn the calendar to a fresh new page. Real life isn’t bad at all and I’m more than ready for October – it’ll get me one month closer to my next plane ride…

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