Category Archives: running

Medical Monday with mixed results

I’m pretty stingy with my sick days. It’s not like when the kids were younger, and finally all in school, when I would take a sick day just to be in my own house in the quiet. No, these days I get plenty of alone time so I try to hoard my sick days and take care of medical matters at off work hours. So, guess what my Monday holiday looked like?

 

Yes, I opened the day with a 9:00 appointment for an MRI. My knee pain hasn’t really diminished, despite not running, and an X-ray last week revealed nothing remarkable. Have you ever had an MRI? I’ve had at least one before and they’re really not very pleasant, although yesterday’s was far more tolerable than the head/neck one I experienced in the past. On both occasions my coping mechanism was to close my eyes and not open them again until it was over. If you’re remotely claustrophobic, I’d recommend you do the same should you find yourself in the same situation.

Immediately after my appointment, I dashed home to get Jeter to his appointment at the veterinarian. Just before Christmas during a belly rub session, I found a lump on his tummy. My response was panic. Cancer. Once I started breathing again, I calmed myself down by doing some research and considered that his behavior in every way was unchanged. I would keep an eye on it for a couple of weeks.

Last Friday I had a mini panic attack about the lump, despite the fact that there hadn’t been any changes, and scheduled a veterinarian visit for Monday to follow my own appointment. I hustled (on my bad knee!) home to collect Jeter and off we went to the animal clinic. 

Jeter was evaluated and the mass was aspirated with the results confirming the veterinarian’s assessment – a common fatty tumor. I couldn’t have been more relieved with the news and Jeter and I celebrated with a brisk walk around the front nine at Muni.

Well, at least as briskly as I could move with my injured knee. 

While my dog’s diagnosis was all I had hoped for, the findings from my MRI were less welcome.  Apparently I have a tear in my meniscus – and a complex one at that. Shit.


So, next up is an appointment with an ortho guy recommended by a friend who has had some knees issues of his own. I’m not really sure what he’ll recommend but it’s possible PT and a continued moratorium on running may be enough to get me back doing what I miss and love – running. 
Guess I’ll have to take a couple of hours of sick time to find out.

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Filed under aging, Exercise, holidays, medical, running, sick, stress, winter

CivMix Redux

Writing for 2 blogs can be annoying. Sometimes I struggle with the decision about where to post my writing – is it a DelSo or CivMix piece? Are the readers the same people in both places? If I post it in one place, how do I share it with the other site?
Honestly, I’ve got no answers, but I’m doing my best. Hopefully you’ll appreciate my efforts as well as these recent posts.

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Filed under Albany, beauty, California, Christmas, Exercise, Lark Street, Local, Observations, Recommendations, running, stress, travel, vacation, yoga

Past peak

Jeter and I went for a little run the other afternoon. It was little because my body is currently in protest mode, refusing to run more than 3 or 4 miles without demanding a stretch or moment’s walk. The discomfort has shifted from being exclusively felt by my feet and hips to a more general sensation radiating from my rear pelvic region, hips and glutes. A joy it is not.

We ran one of my favorite routes – down the yellow brick road and around the perimeter of the big field down by the Normanskill Farm. Jeter swam for the last time of the year (again) and I chugged along the path, consoling myself with the view as I tried to focus on the positive. Like the view.

The trees remained beautiful, despite the scarcity of the leaves clinging to their branches in their shades of orange, yellow and red. I thought about a recent meme I had seen.


I considered the irony of reaching peak beauty only to release your stunningness and watch it fall to the ground.  I chided myself for not having the same grace, for not being as capable when it came to letting go.  Why was I occupying my mind with thoughts of how much easier this run once had been instead of celebrating the fact that I was simply out there doing it?

Wasn’t it unreasonable of me to expect to remain the same physically despite the passing of time?

Maybe I was past peak.

But, if I am, so what?

It’s not like a tree losing its leaves dies. No, it just shifts into a different season, one in which it strips itself bare and hunkers down until the eventual snows melt. In spring it returns to life with the coaxing of the sun. It’s probably not exactly the same in its new year as it had been in its past, but it really doesn’t matter to a tree, does it?

It shouldn’t matter to me either.

 

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Filed under aging, Albany, beauty, Delaware Avenue, DelSo, Exercise, Gardens, Local, musings, Normanskill, Observations, running, upstate New York

Columbus Weekend Discoveries

What a weekend, friends! I went into it with very little planned and I couldn’t feel more satisfied by what had to have been one of fall’s finest weekends. It was truly spectacular, far too nice to stay inside the house dealing with anything beyond the most essential of chores.

Except for a yoga class or two, that is. I popped into one on Saturday morning  that was a lovely slow paced practice and stretched my muscles after Friday’s late night run with Jeter. It’s been a long time since I ran with my boy because our paces don’t necessarily align and I get impatient with his need to sniff everything, as well as his remarkable ability to take frequent dumps.

I’ve been forced to back off running due to discomfort, and it felt really great to get out under the moon with my favorite four legged fellow. My feet, particularly my left one, have been giving me problems and I’m currently in a place I consider to be somewhere between my first and eventual second cortisone shot in my foot. Plantar fibromas suck.

The yoga class I took on Monday, an intermediate level practice called Hot Core Flow, was 75 minutes of focused challenge. Sally is a beast and the class absolutely kicks my ass. It’s tons of core work, something I’m consciously working on after being diagnosed with a tiny hernia in my abdomen, and the planks just kept coming. We moved through a couple of series of plank to forearm plank to plank to forearm plank repeat and the sweat was just dripping off me.  It felt amazing.

As things became difficult, I reminded myself to return to the breathing with which we had started the class. Deep inhale, deep exhale. Again. Repeat. Controlling my breath helped me feel strong in way that was similar to when I run. As I consider what my body and brain are both comfortable with, in terms of aerobic exercise, I appreciated this familiar sensation.

Running isn’t about legs nearly as much as it is about breathing and heart.

You know it’s a hard class when half pigeon, despite my hips were screaming for the duration, felt like a resting pose. It was totally intense, but somehow exactly what I needed – to be pushed first, then encouraged to relax and soften.

As we settled into shavasana, Sally offered a reading, excerpted from here,
that was as perfect as her playlist had been all class long.

Your journey
Your path
Your purpose

Crossing an ocean in a boat isn’t the only way to explore new things. Even if I can’t run exactly the way I’d like to, maybe I’ve discovered some else.

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Filed under aging, Albany, beauty, friends, Local, musings, Observations, running, travel, upstate New York

All you can(t) leave behind

E848DC09-C1C0-4467-B16D-194572CBD1EA.jpegHave you ever been reluctant to end or leave something* because you were convinced the minute you did would be the same moment that things finally turned that corner of which you never could catch more than a glimpse? You believed you should stick with it, especially when you reminded yourself of your tendency, in pre-Waze days, to not reach a destination because you were convinced you had somehow missed it, when in fact you hadn’t yet gone far enough.  You’re no quitter, are you?

Back in those days, you were that rare combination of optimistic, trusting and honest. Now, you know you’ll never surrender as completely to those same instincts ever again. Not in this lifetime at least.

That knowledge leaves you feeling equal parts sad and relieved.

Walking away from a situation that isn’t working should be easier. We all have free will, right? Not being happy or respected or rewarded for giving our best, should make the decision to move on a simple one, yet, that has not been my experience. In fact, it’s been the one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done.

I remember when I quit smoking cigarettes. I was tired of being a smoker. It was gross and unhealthy and I didn’t like the taste in my mouth. I wanted to take up running after struggling to run a mile in a P.E. conditioning class I was taking as an undergrad. I wanted to feel better and not get bronchitis. Yes, there were distinct moments when I did enjoy a cigarette – with a drink, after a meal, late at night, but those occasions were fleeting.

Trading my health for those moments wasn’t a good exchange. I needed to quit.

It wasn’t easy, but I relished my improved senses of smell and taste. I could run longer distances without gasping. I felt lighter in a way not at all related to weight.

Life was better without cigarettes.

My dreams, though, were filled with cigarettes. I wasn’t smoking in my dreams but, I was exposed to cigarettes and the dreams always ended as I was considering lighting one for myself. I would wake up wishing that I could have had just one drag, how I knew that would have satisfied my craving and I could have moved on. Let go.

This cycle of dreams and waking yearning continued for quite some time, maybe years. The last time this dream paid a visit, it was different. I made it to the end and watched myself smoke an entire cigarette – and I looked so happy. I saw myself inhaling and thought about how nauseous I would be if I ingested all of those chemicals and nicotine into my lungs. I knew dream Silvia had made the wrong choice and I was so disappointed with her.

I woke up crying.

My takeaway – It’s better to eliminate what only brings limited pleasure in favor of choosing what brings a more consistent and positive happiness. Even if the craving remains strong, giving in ultimately brings more sadness than joy. It isn’t worth it.

But, I am.

So are you.

PS. I haven’t had the dream since.

*a job, situation, relationship, etc

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Filed under aging, love, marriage, musings, Observations, relationships, running, secrets

53 words

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September 21, 2019 · 10:10 am

It isn’t always easy

Image:runwithjess.com

My body has been hurting and I’ve been avoiding running for the last few weeks. My mileage is down and I have two more races before June is over and I know it is going to be a struggle. My feet and hips have been really problematic, although generally not at the same time, and I’ve been trying to be kind to myself and accepting of yoga and long walks as a substitute for a run. It hasn’t been easy, though.

Last night, finally, felt different. I had done a fair amount of yoga over the weekend and spent every possible moment outdoors. My body wasn’t quite as achy as it had been and a late afternoon massage with a focus on those areas that have given me the most discomfort left me feeling loose. A drizzly rain on a warm evening beckoned, rather than discouraged, as I changed into exercise clothes and taking a moment to roll a little CBD oil on my hips.

I located a good playlist on Applemusic, using “Stormy Monday Blues” as my search term and scored with one that opened with Led Zeppelin and was jammed with Stevie Ray, The Allman Brothers and Albert King. I started to feel excited to get outside and the tautness in my quads feels finally like an itch to flex instead of a request to rest. I was ready.

I left my house in a light rain which eventually became steady and soaking. My feet felt pretty good in my old inserts and my hips hurt only enough to annoy me. The air smelled fresh and I realized I was smiling. Big. It isn’t always easy, but often it’s worth it.

How do you keep on track with exercise? What do you when your body protests against your efforts?

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Filed under Albany, beauty, DelSo, Exercise, musings, Observations, running, Spring