My oldest child turned nineteen this weekend. I think the child that makes a man or a woman a parent is the child who is more closely observed, documented and measured than any additional children. As a family expands, it just isn’t possible to continue the almost obsessive attention that is paid to a first child. When there are two or three other humans demanding that their needs be fulfilled, things like growth charts become extraneous.
The literature suggests that first born children have a lot of pressure upon them to perform and I can concur on that. As far as my own child goes, he eventually internalized the demands he felt from his parents, teachers and early intervention providers. He now (self) imposes a timeline of expectations, and what he considers necessary progress, even more rigorous than the one promoted by the medical experts we felt so wed to when Liam was an infant and toddler and receiving services designed to help him catch up to his peers.
But, what if it isn’t really a race? What if we each reach the next step on our path in precisely the amount of time we’re supposed to? Maybe all those expected outcomes and definitions of normal are more generalizations than a reality for which to strive. From my vantage point of nearly fifty years old, it seems perfectly clear that life and how we experience it, is more individualized than something that can be easily plotted on a growth chart or measured in expectations and achievements.
As my son begins his last year as a teenager all I want for him is acceptance of who and where he is in life – his own acceptance, that is. I’d like for him to understand that it really doesn’t matter how many classes he takes or how quickly he progresses through college. It doesn’t make a difference if he is on par with his cohort; it’s his journey and no one else’s. Milestones may be indicative of progress but they shouldn’t ever be allowed to weigh a person down.
As we traveled to NYC last Saturday morning my oldest son brought my attention to an event currently being held at the Discovery Center, Star Wars and the Power of Costume. We’ve been to a couple of other exhibitions at this venue and have always been satisfied with the experience and, seeing that my youngest is a huge Star Wars fan, this seemed like something we wouldn’t want to miss.
Sunday morning I purchased tickets online (even sussing out a discount code) and we planned our visit. I briefly considered just sending the two of them in, but ultimately was really glad to have seen the show myself. We arrived a little earlier than our reserved time and quickly checked our coats and our one piece of luggage. There were no lines or crowds and we were viewing the brief pre-exhibit movie within 10 minutes of our arrival. From there, we stepped into a moodily dark room and began our tour.
Even for someone who isn’t obsessed with the Lucas films (that would be me),it was an awesome and impressive exhibit. The costumes on display are all actual costumes, not replicas or copies. The fabrics and embellishments were remarkably rich and the workmanship so impressive. A number of the displays included fabric swatches adding a tactile element to the experience that even an 11 year-old boy could appreciate. Speaking of that boy, it was wonderfully gratifying to see Quinn’s eye wide as he took in the attire and weapons of his heroes. Worth every dollar. As for that bikini, it didn’t look any more comfortable to wear than it was to watch Princess Leia unknowingly kiss her brother. The bikini didn’t photograph well so I didn’t include it – I suspect you probably know exactly what it looks like anyway.
You may not know this but I’m kind of a fashionista, if fashionista means a person who is interested and excited by fashion. I’ve been into fashion for as long as I can remember with my first favorite outfit consisting of matching stretchy pink lace undergarments that I would happily reveal to any visitors. I think I was three.
The spring fashions that I’ve seen so far this year have thrilled me more than any I have seen in years. The “new bohemian” look is screaming my name and I’m trying to figure out how to incorporate a few key elements into my wardrobe. Because, that’s what stylish people do, right? They never buy the whole package, preferring to collect a couple of pieces that acknowledge a trend without getting lost in it. Below are a couple of my favorite looks from March’s InStyle, an outstanding issue, by the way.
What are you and your closet craving this year?
Sunday morning I ran NYC. Our hotel was on East 43rd Street between Second and Third Avenues, a neighborhood with which I don’t have much familiarity. My plan was to head north on Second and then cut through the park on 65th to head over to the west side. From there, the plan was nonexistent – I was going to just wing it.
Second Avenue has some nice rolling hills and I was quite taken by the East 50s. I could live there for sure. I took 64th to Fifth Avenue and found myself facing the Central Park Zoo. What a beautiful building it is when approached from the east! One more block north and I was running west, towards Tavern on the Green. I ran up Central Park West with an eye on the Dakota swathed in scaffolding until I reached Strawberry Fields and headed back into the park.
I threaded my way through the park until I reached Columbus Circle, turning east on 59th making my way back to Fifth Avenue. I ran on the east side of the street to maximize my view of The Plaza. What a building! I started to realize that my run was becoming a “greatest hits” of NYC landmarks. Oh my God, this is such a wonderful way to see the world, this running thing.
It was somewhere around 8:30 and the streets were blessedly empty. I window shopped at 6 mph, taking in the fabulous displays and getting increasingly more excited about the new season’s fashions. Louis Vuitton, Ferragamo, Chanel, Dolce & Gabbana, Tiffany…I practically got a contact high from all that beauty.
I continued south with my eyes on the Empire State Building before turning east to make my way back to our hotel, now with my eyes fixed upon the Chrysler Building. In less than an hour, and just over 5 miles, I had feasted my eyes on some of the most stunning architecture in the world’s greatest city. What a wonderful way to start the day.
You know with a last name like “Lilly,” I love me some flowers. If you share a similar appreciation for things which bloom, this is your lucky weekend. get yourself down to the New York State Museum and inhale some of the gorgeousness that is currently on display. $5 gets you in and helps to support the museum’s after school programs benefiting children across our fair city. Here are a few images to help your interest blossom!
It’s been nearly 4 months since my brother and I closed on our purchase of Lark + Lily. Sometimes it doesn’t seem possible that a third of a year has already passed, other moments it feels like it’s been forever. I’ve consciously kept the restaurant stuff away from the DelSo stuff, for the most part. After talking with one of the people who months ago helped convince me that I could take on this project, I’ve decided to allow myself a bit more freedom in mixing personal and professional. Hope that’s ok.
Although I never addressed any of the comments made on Table Hopping, there was one that absolutely cracked me up. It was the one when someone questioned my ability to run a restaurant based upon my experience as a part-time server. Maybe there have been people who have made the leap from part-time server to owner, but that’s not my reality. I’ve worked in the restaurant industry for a long time – waiting tables, tending bar, hostessing, washing dishes and even cooking. Let’s not discount that.
Owning Lark + Lily has confirmed some of my sensibilities about hospitality. People want to feel welcome and appreciated when they enter (and depart) a restaurant. Clean bathrooms and fresh flowers (thanks, Trudy,) make a positive impression. Promoting other businesses helps to lift the entire industry and builds a community. Speaking of community, our First Friday drink special has evolved into a monthly cocktail special with half of the proceeds being donated to a local not for profit. I’m excited to write a check at the end of the month and make a donation to an organization that needs a boost.
I’ve learned that while we can’t make everyone happy, we are successful meeting that goal much of the time. I know it’s early and there’s plenty of room and time for negative reviews, but right now we’re enjoying the positive press and feedback we’ve received. It seems like folks are receptive to what we’re doing – providing thoughtfully prepared, quality food and beverage to both regulars and newcomers. Maintaining all the social media platforms (Homepage, Twitter, Facebook, Yelp, etc) can be a bit intense at times, but it is remarkably satisfying when efforts pay off, like last weekend when I tweeted out one of our Valentine’s weekend cocktail specials and Tito’s Vodka gave us a boost by retweeting us to their 45,000 + followers. Validation feels good.
If you’ve been to Lark + Lily, thank you. It is truly appreciated and I hope we met, or even exceeded, your expectations. If you haven’t yet come in to experience what we’re doing, please consider this an invitation to join us for a drink and something to eat. Hope to see you soon.
I know I’m a day late on this Valentine’s stuff, but when a holiday translates into working 7 consecutive days, sometimes things don’t get done. Fortunately, all that I most appreciate has nothing whatsoever to do with candy filled hearts or a single day on the calendar circled with red ink. These are my every day gifts.
- My boys who have heated debates over who’s version of La Vie en Rose is superior – Edith Piaf’s or Louis Armstrong’s.
- My guy who challenges me in more ways than I ever could have imagined.
- My running girls the Lunar B*tches who are willing to run anytime, anywhere.
- My Jeter who is everything a dog is supposed to be.
I love them all.